i know life isn't perfect, but should it really be this hard?

my life is full of many, many great things. but seemingly 'normal' peope don't have to go through most of the stuff i do. i'm not complaining. well, kind of...

anyway, relating to what was stated above, some 'stuff' happened again this morning. we didn't go to middlesboro this weekend. i was really, really bummed about this b/c i would have gotten to see you know who and do who knows what. (no, nothing bad lol)
i didnt get to see my grandma either. or go hiking. or 4 wheeling. or swimming. or just messing around. or whatever.

i didnt get to do ANY of what i had mostly mentally (but some things verbally) planned.

why?

because of something that i didnt do but am hopelessly involved in until a miracle happens. i continue to pray, so my wish will be granted soon enough.

so today i ended up immersed in the 'orange and white game' traffic. oh no. i didn't go to the game. i ended up fishing off the dock of a marina (where a friend's boat is parked) i caught a largemouth bass! it was pretty cool and i applaude the being who decided to engage us in this activity as a distraction. it worked! kind of...

then i came home to another surprise- which stirred up mixed feelings.

so i have been home for maybe an hour and a half and i've been out shooting. oh! (and i just thought of this yesterday)

whenever something goes wrong and i HAVE to escape, i either take off on my bike or i go out and shoot. in short, let's just say i have gained amazingly better shooting skills and i have gotten stronger, faster, and have more endurance. this says a lot.

anyway, sort of movin on-

around a month ago, i found a favorite song. they usually drift in and out, but before this, there just weren't any great ones. until miley cyrus came along and handed me something that i could finally relate to. i know, i know. but i'm not just another miley zombie fan. i really admire her. i mean seriously. look at all she's accomplished! and shes only 16!! shes amazing. so heres the song. life's a climb-

"the climb" by miley cyrus

I can almost see it that
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head saying
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
I Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always goona want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes i'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
Cause...

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes i'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

(guitar solo) Yeah...

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

yeah...

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Whoa...

i know that everyone has their problems. and i don't think that one person's problems are any greater than another person's. it may seem that way to an outsider, but a person's issue is their issue. i dont know if that makes sense. "kinda-sorta-almost-maybe?" guess where that came from?!?! lol